Brew Coffee Company - Whiteladies Road

Readers who have read my blog previously will know that I didn’t hold Café Retreat on Whiteladies Road in the best regard and while it is sad when businesses close down, it’s always exciting to see what will spring up in its place especially as Bristol is making such a name for itself in the national food stakes. One only has to look at the last few weeks and the evidence speaks for itself – I’m talking of course about the Bristol Food Connections Festival, Eat Drink Fashion and the Good Food Awards.

But I digress. Café Retreat shut up shop for the last time a couple of weeks ago and this morning, after a paint job and a refurb, Brew Coffee Company threw open its doors to the public. Gone is the bright turquoise façade, replaced by a more muted, timeless taupe and the billowy sheeted ceiling sacrificed for clean lines and a large bar groaning with delicious looking eats.

Joe, my lovely server at Brew, was quick to point out that it was a soft opening and not all of the drinks were available just yet so I’ve made a note to try out the very interesting looking ‘lavender hot chocolate’ next time.

So, let’s move on to the food. How far could they come from supermarket sliced bread and what would appeared to have been sandwich filler from a carton? Polar opposite is the answer.

I chose a slice of hand made slow roasted tomato quiche with a gorgeous, crumbly crust, packed with sweet, delicious tomatoes and a potato salad dressed in a light mustard dressing with cornichons and dill – no claggy mayonnaise to be seen; and a charred cauliflower salad with toasted hazelnuts and pomegranate seeds. Other temptations on offer included an equally delicious looking salmon quiche and a range of freshly made sandwiches and bagels.

As I stood waiting to pay, slabs of rocky road piled high on a dish were brought out but I found myself drawn to a sticky, glorious looking cinnamon roll from Everything Bagels who are opening their first bakery in Bristol soon. I can confirm that not only is it a thing of architectural beauty but it tastes pretty darn good too!

Brew CC might have opted for a soft opening but judging from the diners outside they’ve burst on to the Whiteladies scene with quite a roar. 

Cafe Retreat - Whiteladies Road

Cafe Retreat could have so much potential. First impressions promise so much - the eye catching aqua exterior, the sun trapped (when it appears) deck - ideal for people watching, the close proximity to some truly fabulous suppliers like Ruby & White and one of the only places within a few hundred metres to offer freshly made sandwiches for those on a hurried lunch. And most of all the promise that their food is locally sourced and is of the best quality. 

Unfortunately it rapidly descends into the realm of disappointment. 

With the loss of the Friary Cafe on Cotham Hill, the latter end of Whiteladies Road needs somewhere that offers a decent bacon / sausage / fried egg sandwich. We ordered sandwiches from Cafe Retreat one Friday morning. One of us ordered a bacon, sausage and egg bap. The other ordered, simply, a bacon sandwich. 

We were expecting the bap to be a pillowy, floury base to slurp up bacon grease and runny egg yolk but it was rather small, stale and crumbling. The poached egg (they told me they couldn't do a fried egg despite all food being cooked to order) had a hard yolk. The sausages were clearly not of 'the best quality' and appeared to be one of those pale imposters served up to school children who don't know any better. The bacon sandwich had two tiny rashes of bacon in it. They wanted to charge extra for ketchup but not before they had slung a very tired side salad into the takeaway box. Salad? Really? On a hungover Friday morning? Despite the fact that both breakfast items each contained the same two limp slices of bacon but the 'bap' also had two sausages and an egg, both of these things cost £4. EACH. 

To add insult to injury, the bread we spied in the kitchen to make the bacon sandwich wasn't homemade and didn't come from the bakery on Cotham Hill. Or Chandos Deli. Or in fact the bakery counter at Sainsburys. It came from a Hovis bag. I don't think the words 'rip' and 'off' could be used too frequently here. 

I gave it another go one lunchtime thinking they were probably just having an off day. I perused their menu online and rang up to place my order. A BBQ chicken and mozzarella panini. I was asked to wait while they checked that they still had BBQ chicken which pleased me as I thought it might have been freshly cooked. I was told to pop by in 10 minutes time. Fabulous. 

When I got to Cafe Retreat, they charge me £1 more than the website prices because those were 'out of date' which meant I paid £5 for a panini.  I was then told that I can't have been looking at their current menu because they 'don't do BBQ chicken anymore' but (BUT!) 'we still had some of the ingredients for it, so it's ok.' As I sadly received my box (is this why things are so frigging expensive because they insist on giving you food in a box unlike any other sandwich shop anywhere who gives you food wrapped in paper?) and trudged over the road, I secretly hoped that this panini would be the best panini Bristol would have to offer. Alas, on opening the box it revealed a rather tiny panini (shop bought ciabatta bread), bland plain chicken doused in HP BBQ sauce and one of their very limp side salads which sadly and curiously smelt of parmesan cheese rendering it inedible. 

I don't doubt that their food is locally sourced - most probably from the value range at one of the local supermarkets, but I DO doubt their food is of the best quality that they boast about on their menus. 

When you have Ruby and White down the road offering ready to go sandwich baguettes the length of your arm, crammed with free range egg mayonnaise and their own short date bacon that they need to use for £3, Schnafel offering delicious wraps stuffed with a huge variety of salads and falafel for £4 and the Town House offering a steak lunch for £4.95, you do wonder what Cafe Retreat have going for them. My guess is that they rely on frequent visits from staff at the BBC looking to escape their own abysmal canteen or that they take advantage of weary passers by who have walked the length of Whiteladies from Blackboy Hill and view it as a last chance saloon. 

So when you see Cafe Retreat, do as it asks. Retreat elsewhere if you want food that doesn't leave you unsatisfied and out of pocket.